100 rules of being a fanguin
by Mother PoM
Summary: Each chapter goes by 10's, okay? You can send in suggestions if you want.
1. Chapter 1

**Rules of being a fanguin!**

One, don't make fun of ships: Most important, don't make fun of Skilene, the fans of the ship will yell at you and hate on you for showing your disgust for the ship. The straight shipper fans are the most annoying, they hate on fans who ship gay couples.

Two, Skipper is always right: He's never wrong. He's always right.

Three, lunacorns are great knowledge: They are. Don't disagree. It'll make Pri cry.

Four, penguins are adorable- If you don't agree then you're not a fanguin.

Five, don't question the king- Or else you'll trip from a camera flash and and land in a trash can and end up in the New Jersey dump.

Six, don't touch amnesia spray- What are we talking about?

Seven, don't trust a puffin- Don't do it or you'll never meet Skipper.

Eight, don't say the Red Squirrel isn't real- It'll come to bite you in the butt.

Nine, don't trust science, it will not lead you to the love of your dreams.

Ten, don't lie to Private- Or he'll call you a liar and that your pants are on fire.


	2. My Apologizes!

**My sincerest apologizes for number 1. It was based on my experience of the second I ranted about Skilene, Skilene shippers were all over me, bashing on me for my opinion. If anyone was offended I apologize!**


	3. Chapter 2

**1** Eleven: Make sure you ask Kowalski what's in the hot sauce bottle. it could be truth serum for all you know.

Twelve: Trust no one, or you'll be eaten by a snake

Thirteen: All the bad guys get the good stuff.

Fourteen: You don't want to witness a fish slapping by Skipper.

Fifteen: Don't trust anything you can't see or punch.

Sixteen: If nothing makes sense, wave your hand and whatever that problem.

Seventeen: There's no one hotter than Kowalski.

Eighteen: Stay away from Joey's habitat.

Nineteen: Punches hurt more than words.

Twenty: Everybody knows Kowalski and Doris don't really belong together.

 **1: This was suggested by ligersrcool. And you don't have to agree if you don't like it. This was just for fun.**


	4. Chapter 3

Twenty One: A grump can be a friend with just a hug.

Twenty Two: NEVER TRUST A BADAH! I mean badger.

Twenty Three: Slap a hippy the first chance you get.

Twenty Four: If at first you don't succeed, try again, if at 47 times, just give up.

Twenty Five: You do not ever get between a penguin and his water.

Twenty Six: There's no such thing as being too paranoid.

Twenty Seven: If Skipper wants to play Hot Potato, I suggest you run away like hell!

Twenty Eight: Keep your friends close and tie your enemies to a rocket and blast them away.

Twenty Nine: Salt doesn't melt space squids...

Thirty: A friend is just an enemy who hasn't attacked you yet.


	5. Chapter 4

Thirty One: You don't have to know something to like it.

Thirty Two: German Folk music is very bad for you.

Thirty Three: Christmas Steve knows if you've been bad or good.

Thirty Four: If given the option of going to Hoboken or plucking out your own eyeballs, plucking out your own eyeballs is the obvious and welcome choice.

Thirty Five: Soccer is football, it IS.

Thirty Six: If you're neighbor is your favorite food, you should eat them.

Thirty Seven: Brain and bootie, if you guys can't get along then we have a problem.

Thirty Eight: Reasoning is tedious and boring

Thirty Nine: Cool cars go faster.

Forty: Boy, girl, all that really matters is how well you use a pink bow whip in a crisis situation.


	6. Chapter 5

Forty One: If you're in the park, grab all the acorns, its money people.

Forty Two: Penguins can grow beards.

Forty Three: Penguins are dominate over chimps. And since our DNA to chimps only differ by one percent...Penguins dominate over us.

Forty Four: Aliens exist.

Forty Five: Castrotunity is a word.

Forty Six: Peas do not taste good.

Forty Seven: Never swim alone

Forty Eight: The best offense is a good defense.

Forty Nine: Magic is real.

Fifty: Being stupid makes you immune to pain.


	7. Chapter 6

Fifty One: It's always April 1st somewhere.

Fifty Two: The smart ones should always be the leader.

Fifty Three: Lunacorns have the power of imagination.

Fifty Four: Beware: Evil spirits are even capable of possessing cheese.

Fifty Five: It's possible to get Anchormanesia.

Fifty Six: BFF stands for buffalo fire fighter.

Fifty Seven: Lichee nuts can make you go crazy if you eat spoiled ones.

Fifty Eight: When watching TV, bring snacks and back-up snacks.

Fifty Nine: There was a squirrel... who was golden... we never knew his name, so we just call him The Golden Squirrel

Sixty: Clouds are made of cotton candy, not water vapor.


	8. Chapter 7

Sixty One: Setting the Shrinky Shriker Ray on reverse makes it a Biggy Bigger Ray.

Sixty Two: You can lose your sense of rhythm and groove

Sixty Three: It is possible to be unable to read but be able to spell words correctly.

Sixty Four: Massage chairs make excellent body DNA scanners.

Sixty Five: Saying the word "capture" automatically makes any mission into a penguin mission.

Sixty Six: The quickest way to win a girls' heart is to sit on her egg through the long, cold winter.

Sixty Seven: Justice is blind.

Sixty Eight: Apparently the next big eclipse is 23 years from now, in Brazil.

Sixty Nine: Fish have googley eyes.

Seventy: When sleep-deprived, you're a LOT more paranoid than usual.


	9. Chapter 8

Seventy One: Don't stick gum in stopwatches, they will stop time! Just ask Kowalski!

Seventy Two: Don't take away King Julien's crown, you won't like the dire consequences!

Seventy Three: You can use butter to defeat a snake.

Seventy Four: No one ever said you had to be sane to be a leader.

Seventy Five: There's a certain kind of hat-slap that professional criminals use.

Seventy Six: There's an eternal riddle involving the steering of an elephant.

Seventy Seven: Classified jokes are classified.

Seventy Eight: Beware of Graveyard 8

Seventy Nine: The riddle "how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood" is an ancient mystery that has haunted science since the dawn of time.

Eighty: Do not make the sky spirits mad cause they will put you in a little box!


	10. Chapter 9

Eighty One: If you can't win the game you just have to change the playing field.

Eighty Two: Tall people have rights, too!

Eighty Three: Wear a gas mask when changing a diaper.

Eighty Four: Licorice is strong enough to tie an animal up!

Eighty Five: Your dancing skills can be bottled up.

Eighty six: You know Kowalski´s a sleeper if your sandwich explodes.

Eighty Seven: It is possible to freeze sound.

Eighty Eight: If you cannot join them... BEAT them.

Eighty Nine: A dolphin's brain is bigger than a penguin's body.

Ninety: Purple isn't a vegetable.


	11. Chapter 11

Ninety One: Batteries are able to have grandchildren.

Ninety Two: In America, you aren't punished for being bad, you get rewarded for just NOT being bad.

Ninety Three: You can stop the fabric of time and space from ripping because of time travel by throwing in the time travel device in it.

Ninety Four: "Punch" is not a flavor. It's an imaginary force that will literally punch you.

Ninety Five: Pigeons loathe Commissioners.

Ninety Six: 15% of Hotdogs is made from actual dog

Ninety Seven: Always listen to your gut

Ninety Eight: Farms are creepy places

Ninety Nine: Bunnies may be small and cuddly, but can totally kick ass...As long as you're a king.

One hundred: Combining words is what cool people do

 **There its done! I'm glad, I NEED to work on an actual story. Or I'll lose my sanity.**


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